What. The. Fuck? I was looking forward to seeing some giant people fighting with Jake sully and Liam Neeson.
Oh, and Voldemort.
Wait a minute.
How amazing would that movie be?
"Harry Potter, the Avatars, and Neeson take his daughter back from Voldemort. In 3D"
SUPER amazing, thats how.
Let me now take the time to say that this post is riddled with spoilers. Full to the brim.
With spoilers.
So stop NOW if you don't want the movie to be ruined for you. If you've seen it, keep reading, and lets discuss this.
I knew from the beginning that its one of those stupid-dialogue-but-the-action-is-eye-popping movies. You know, like G.I Joe. But with monster and less black people. Actually, like none, but thats understandable.
I'm pretty easy to impress. Show me a cool battle scene and I'm all ooh! Aaah! Oh shit!
But they really need to work on better jokes and more believable dialogue. Mini Perseus in the beginning scenes sounded waaay too serious. He's talking about being jealous of his coming little sister, and he's all "That child is actually yours, and that worries me.I feel like you won't love me enough." And then his dad's like " Son, we'll always love you. Now lets smoke a couple of cigars and talk about this new health bill. What is your take on whether our economy can stand this new financial storm?" There are people who are in their 20's who still can't convey their emotions that clearly. But I guess something about living in Greece makes you mature faster.
And, wow, Percy gets over deaths really easily! Its like, BOOM, your family's dead. Sniffle, sniffle, BATTLE!
STAB, your girlfriend's dead. Frown, and then, OOH, HORSIE! Come on. He could have shown a couple of tears. Its still manly as long as you don't outright sob like a little girl. Or an emotional teen. Or a man who just lost his ENTIRE family and potential soul mate. Goodness.
Also, the whole thing could have been solved so easily. I hate when people in power use the common people to get back at each other. I never understood why Zeus and all of them banned Hades in the first place. Can't he rule the dead from Olympus too? And aren't they all siblings? Damn. You would expect a little more love between them.
But seriously. Zeus could have invited Hades and the rest of the family over for brunch. And then, over bagels, omelettes, and coffee, they could have worked out their issues without killing all of these people.
And what is wrong with Zeus?? They cast Liam Neeson, an actor previously portrayed as The Official Kicker of Ass, and all he does in this movie is have sex with the wrong person. And then feel sad because people aren't "loving" and "worshipping" him enough.
(Right before he releases the kraken. His biggest moment, basically.)
I'm not going to lie though, the action parts were freaking awesome. (I don't know how else to convey the awesomeness without using that word, so forgive the repeats). I was on the edge of my seat when they were fighting the giant scorpion things in the desert. And those skeleton-people things?? Oh man.
I loved when they were at Medusa's place and the skeletor man got all wrapped up in her snake-tail thing. She screamed at him, trying to get him to turn to stone and all, and he laughed like, "Bitch I'm already dead!"
Just awesome.
Another thing they got right was making Io the love interest. I mean, according to Greek mythology its supposed to be Andromeda, but they left to time for those two to interact. That chicka, (Io), saved their asses so many times its not even funny.
I was going to be PISSED if at the end Percy was like, "You're a great friend, but nah. Andromeda's hotter."
So basically, don't expect mundane things like "character development" and "emotion", let yourself be amazed by the action and technology, and you'll have a great time. I mean, not all movies can be all deep and shit. There's gotta be a few of these mindless ones in there to go along with the Pride & Prejudices and Titanics of the world.
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